SOME BODY I USED TO KNOW

Yes, I did mean some body, not somebody. Although in a way, it could be both. Aging is a fine prospect. We can't wait until we are ten, or twenty. Thirty is still good, forty is usually so busy we don't think about it much. Then there is fifty. Half a century. That makes us think. But generally things still function pretty well. We may be called upon to do a few more medical tests, just routine, which also makes us think. But by then we are moving along with our career, our hobbies, our community, our family. Lots of fun still ahead, our knees are still working well, our back only hurts once in awhile if we've overdone something.

Of course some of us have bigger medical challenges over the course of these years that can take us off line, or off course, but somehow we survive and the aging goes on. Often in our fifties we do some soul searching, recognizing that we might be happier in a different job, or with a different hobby, or maybe we need to make some new friends, read something outside our usual choices. If we've had kids, they are pretty much well on their way to their own lives and we have a little more time.

Sixties bring thoughts of retirement and perhaps travel? We start to worry about paying off a mortgage, putting a little more money in savings, We look around and see where we are and try to plan for where we are going in ways we hadn't considered before. We remember what our grandparents looked like, what they were doing, when they were our age. It astonishes us to realize how old we thought they were then, and the pictures we have of them in aprons, gray-haired and wearing orthopedic shoes, confirm our memories. They looked older than we do now. Why?

I am writing this from the vantage point of eighty-three, and I have some ideas about why. They lived through two world wars, the Great Depression, the Spanish flu, the cold war. Times were hard, and they worked hard to keep food on the table. No wonder they looked worn out. Some of them did not have access to the best dental or medical care. Vaccines weren't available until well after most of them suffered and survived all the childhood diseases, some with lasting challenges that made aging even harder.

Now they say seventy is the new fifty. And from how some of us look and behave at seventy, that could be true. Certainly there are many celebrities who are still honed and toned, fit and fabulous, well into their seventies and eighties. But let's be clear about why. They have the funds to assist in the staving off of the inevitable.

I am here to say that if seventy is the new fifty, eighty is definitely not the new sixty, at least for some of us. Maybe you will be the amazing eighty year old who decides to run a marathon and does it. Or maybe you will take up gymnastics or swing dancing and win prizes for your efforts. I don't think this is a reasonable goal for most of us, I know it's not for me. Social media pushes vitamins and supplements that are supposed to rejuvenate our minds and bodies, take us backwards to the days when we could do it all and do it easily. I know they sell very well. And if that is your thing, I say go for it! We all should do everything we can to feel good, do good.

The one thing that I know to be true is that continuing to find joy is the only tonic that can revive me, make me happy to be able to do the things I can do. I have made the commitment to do the things I can do, and ask for help when I am faced with tasks I can no longer tackle. I can't get down on the floor and reach the back of my cabinets so I can pull everything out and reorganize them. But I can ask my cleaning people to help with that. Then I can organize, sort through, and get rid of what clutters up my life. I can cause things to happen by getting some help.

Clearing space to live the life you can live in the moment is a good feeling of accomplishment whether you've done it all yourself or you've asked for help. I am not in the body I used to know, but I am still in the one I have. And my determination is to accept that, care for it as best I can, and get on with living. I can't do it all, but I can do some of it. And making it easier is essential, at least for me. Joy is all around us if we get the right focus. If we clear the way. I think I will just get on with it

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